File Under: Airport Security, Experiences Of

I had three reactions to this week's report from Britain about the foiled terrorist activity involving blowing up airplanes traveling from the UK to the US - the first was "damn I'm glad I flew back last Sunday", the second was "damn, Mr. FH doesn't come home until next week - eek!", and the third was "good - now we finally might get actual genuine security measures put in place rather than the mickey mouse routines to which we usually are subjected."

I'm sorry to say that the TSA looks like a group of kindergarteners trying to locate their opposable thumbs in comparison to the stringent security measures practiced elsewhere in the world.

Algeria, after a gruesome decade of civil war and their own internal struggles with violent splinter groups, has, as one might imagine, designed and implemented a set of most impressive and thorough procedures for airport security.

To enter the grounds of the airport, there are two police checkpoints and at the second one must allow the police to check the trunk of the car. To enter the airport building itself one must send all baggage through the xray machine, go thrugh a metal detector, and all males are physically frisked (shout out to the military guy snoozing after I went through the metal dectector on my way home - he absentmindedly helped himself for a nano-second to a handful of my chest before realizing his mistake - nice to know my surprised expression and raised eyebrows could make an officer blush!).

These procedures set the tone for the remainder of one's airport experience - I won't go into additional detail, although these are by no means state secrets. The presence of soldiers with machine guns positioned around the aircraft as passengers are brought to the plane by bus isn't chilling or overly martial; on the contrary, the military presence is oddly comforting.

Each and every security measure the Algerians employ are meaningful and performed for a reason - they are not frivolous activities meant to do nothing but delay or annoy innocent travelers. There is no profiling invovled as every single passenger, with no exceptions, is subjected to the same security measure. Each carry on bag is opened and inspected; all passengers are frisked by either a male or female officer before being allowed to ascend the stairway to the jet.

When flying the national airline, each piece of checked baggage must be "recognized" by its owner. Baggage is stacked neatly on the tarmac next to the plane - before boarding, each person physically picks up their bags and puts them on the baggage cart. Any unclaimed bag is immediately taken away and destroyed. Needless to say, with this method one never loses one's luggage, and it also reminds one to pack lightly.***

Do these stringent security measures make it terribly difficult to fly? I refuse to believe they do. Sure they're inconvenient, they take a lot of time, and inevitably delays ensue. The flight rarely takes off on time and it often feels as if the delays are eternal. (I've concluded that Hell isn't other people, it's eternity spent waiting in an Algerian airport). Do any of these measures erode one's civil liberties? Not in the least, although some men have told me that the frisking can be a bit too intimate, if you know what I mean. Algeria's air security record is now spotless. Security is performed by the military; it is well paid and well respected work, as opposed to the sporadically trained and chronically underpaid staff of the TSA.

Will we ever see such intelligent, sensible and purposeful security employed in the US? I don't think we will. Americans have for so long been so conditioned to go where they please and follow their travel whims with the minimum of fuss attached to their movements that it would take an enormous and unimaginable tragedy, or series of them, to change what is essentially a very stubborn state of mind.

I regret losing the innocence of air travel in years past, but all the regret in the world can't change the world we now live in, which is a much more sinister place than most Americans are willing to admit. And until Americans do admit that they have just as vulnerable a seat at the global table as every other nation, we'll continue to be painted with a red bulls-eye. We could learn a great deal by implementing even a small segment of Algeria's security methods, and I'm sorry to say that as a country we are still too arrogant to consider such an exercise worthwhile.

This most recent plan to combine disparate liquid elements, attach a simple detonator and blow up planes over the Atlantic is likely something Algerian security forces wouldn't be able to detect. From what I've read over the last three days, while the liquid combination/resulting explosion can be done, it's not as simple as mixing a pitcher of martinis. It would be very tricky operationally, and would be as likely to backfire/misfire as succeed. Am I glad that British intelligence uncovered the potential plan and arrested those involved? Hell yes. Will I fly in the future, even if the current strict carry-on measures become a way of life? Hell yes.

But don't behave as if a pot of lipgloss poses a grave security breach. That, my friends, is a textbook example of Fresh Hell.



***Air Algerie pilots are among the best in the world - they always land the planes with the most delicate touch.