The Tall Blonde In Spectacles

In less than 2 weeks Mr. Fresh Hell and I embark for our vacation in Algieria. This trip will be an interesting one, I suspect. We'll spend much of the time in Algiers, and we'll have 4 days in Oran, a fascinating city located in the west of the country - birthplace of several prominent folks, among them Albert Camus, Cheb Khaled, Mami, and Yves Saint Laurent. Oran has a long history of Spanish influence, and is known for some excellent architecture, churches, mosques and beaches.

However, featured foremost in the merriment of our trip will be the wedding of one of Mr. Fresh Hell's legion of nieces. His family produced its fair share of boys during Mr. FH's generation, but there are scads of girls in the succeeding one.

It was initially terribly surprising to me, naif that I was, to learn of the lack of prohibition in North Africa against marrying one's cousin. Second cousins or even third cousins still raise eyebrows in the West, and first cousins are considered far too close relations to seriously consider. Not so in North Africa - marriages between first and second cousins are common.

One of Mr. FH's sisters married her first cousin; their children are all perfectly normal, quite good-looking, and exceedingly bright. I have no idea whether this is the norm or the exception, and perhaps it doesn't bear mentioning. After all, would I confess if the offspring are profoundly odd, ugly, and unbearably dull?

I digress because the Niece will be marrying a man who is a distant cousin of hers, a man Mr. FH and I have known very well for many years. The Groom even lived with us for three months when we were first married - he was desperate for a place, and my overgenerous and kind-hearted spouse invited him in as a quick fix, with an unspoken caveat that it would be for the very short term only.

The first year of marriage is difficult enough without introducing another person into the menage, so to speak, and when Groom didn't adhere to the "short term" aspect of our arrangement quickly enough for my taste I took matters firmly into my own hands, initiating a difficult confrontation with him which unfortunately turned into a full blown fight.

Groom found his own place (in the apartment right below us, oh the irony) and since then he and I have been on the best of terms. He subsequently moved to L.A., where he still lives, in somewhat of an extended household with his brother, sister, and her family. He told me later that the push I gave him to establish himself was exactly what he needed - in his words, "The best thing that happened to me."

He'll bring his new bride to California and her part of the adventure will begin. Groom has lived in the States for 16 years, and while she visited New York 6 years ago she'll be coping with a new country and a new marriage all at once. I wish her well and in the same breath foresee some sticky times ahead. She's extremely well-educated, though, so I hope her assimilation into American culture won't take too long.

Groom's brother is also marrying the same day and they'll share a reception, which will make this wedding doubly interesting for me to attend, pun definitely intended. I don't understand spoken Algerian that well - most of time, especially if it's a complex discussion, I comprehend the topic rather than the words themselves. When the conversation is simple, I understand the words. What I often end up relying on is body language, which has to be parsed through the culture as much as anything else; it's not always reliable, and sometimes I get it completely wrong, but in many instances that's all I have.

So wish me luck, dear readers, as I maneuver (the only American who has married into the family) through potential minefields of family relations - well-meaning widows, octogenarians of both genders who after nearly 10 years of marriage to Mr. FH aren't entirely sure who I am, shy yet endearing children, cousins, aunts, and uncles I've met before yet can't seem to remember, and the inevitable language difficulties that await (thank the Gods for French - it will only take me a few days to get more comfortable with speaking, and my comprehension has soared due to daily soaking with French TV).

If you need to identify me in the crowd, I'll be the tall blonde in spectacles.