Blog for Choice - Better Late Than Never

I messed up by failing to post on the Blog for Choice on January 22nd (the 33rd anniversary of Roe v. Wade). One can easily refresh one's reading on the subject with my recommendation of a quick trip around Ye Olde Internets, which will yield any number of incrediblly eloquent women bloggers on this subject, all of whom should be required reading of both genders.

In the spirit, however, of how most of my anniversary wishes run, i.e. generally belated, here are my thoughts:

I feel incredibly lucky that I don't actively remember a time before this landmark legal decision. I personally have never had to make a choice to terminate a pregnancy. If anything, my quest was to actually become pregnant, a story that may be told another day, if ever.

For every woman like me who has never experienced an unplanned pregnancy, there are dozens of others wrestling with this decision every day.

I use the verb "wrestle" advisedly, as I refuse to believe a woman exists in this universe who will willingly submit to what amounts to an invasive internal procedure and do so with a "la di dah" dash of elan, fitting it in between picking up dry cleaning and grocery shopping.

Given the general hurry up and wait of most women's lives however, it would come as no surprise to me that they do have schedules that force them to do just that: and I use the word "force" advisedly, here, as I firmly believe no woman should be so stressed that she has to do this between stops, as it were.

On a personal note: I, possessing an enormous phobia of hospitals (the anxiety attack producing kind,) some years ago actually went to a hospital in Brooklyn to collect an incredibly dear friend after just such an invasive procedure. After she stopped laughing at my hospital hypertension we shared a quiet, simple meal at a favorite local coffeeshop. It was near Christmas that year, and I brought her a gift - a large jar of a specific vanilla scented lotion I knew she loved. I know that my actions weren't that important, really - after ushering her into a cab home I'm aware she cried that night alone. But the fact that she could do what she did, and do it legally, an action that in retrospect still remains the only possible option open to her at the time, is something that should never be arbitrarily snatched away.

I have always been pro-choice - no doubt about it. I have never really liked using the word choice, however, as it implies a decision between two equally appealing alternatives, much like I choose vanilla ice cream as opposed to chocolate. Making this often life changing decision holds very little appeal. There are hardships inherent either way.

As pro-choice as I am, and will continue to be, my thoughts have always turned to pro-education, an active mindset determined to do everything in one's power to forestall ever being placed in the position of making such a momentous decision.

I'm frightened by how many young women embark on sexual relationships with little or no knowledge of exactly how their bodies function. I find that in turns appalling and unbearably sad. All of the outlandish stories that teenagers share with each other (and frankly, if they did this in my youth I'll bet you dollars to donuts they still do) about how conception actually occurs leads nowhere in the end but to furthering ignorance.

What is more appalling to me are mature adult women who still haven't grasped the essence of female bio-mechanics, to whom the workings of the depths "in there" are as remote as the Moon's surface. Sadly, I've encountered more than a few of these, so if you think that white, middle-class college educated women can't possibly be that naive, well, I've got a bridge in Brooklyn for sale - call me.

While I'm all up for obtaining all the knowledge possible with which to arm oneself, in the interim before this utopia arrives, there simply must remain an ironclad law, which is so fundamental it's even ridiculous we have to mention it, but sadly we not only have to write about it but continually defend it, which is:

The right of a woman to control her personal biological destiny, which lies inherent in Roe v. Wade, which is the fundamental truth that a woman's body is hers, that what happens inside it, mystery or no, is no one's business but her own, and that her wishes, interests, circumstances and preferences are respected, without question.

When last I checked in on Science, stubbornly they still report that as of this day a man does not have a uterus.

Therefore I must conclude that, other than the rationale found in the morally corrupt claims of patriarchy, there is absolutely no earthly reason for men to pass laws on what they do not possess.

When we start regulating testicles, let me know - I know millions of women, I among them, who will certainly have a few suggestions to offer.