This Week in Its Briefs - Fireman Red Longjohns

1. Science Experiment Update: I still haven’t colored my hair yet, and it’s getting distinctly silvery, especially at the front. Althought I still haven’t heard anyone shriek and run away from me in horror (well they do, but not about the hair) I've had some very constructive ideas about the interim process, which will go a long way towards correcting a burgeoning bag lady look.

2. Probably the only perk offered at work by the Cupcake’s colleagues is a weekly Booze Trolley, which occurs every Friday at 4:30 pm. They actually serve beer, wine, and assorted snacks for free! I know! I don’t know about you, but the words free and alcohol in the same sentence make me terribly giddy. During the warm weather we have Booze Trolley on our roof-top terrace garden – I better stop, as the combination of free, alcohol, late afternoon sunshine, fresh air, and a gorgeous roof garden in downtown Manhattan is making me swoon.

3. I-Tunes is addictive. I don’t have an IPod, and have no interest in getting one, but I do like playing music on my computer and buying a song online for only .99 is pretty cool – until you buy one hundred of them at once. Oops!

4. Dear Ambien: I take you to get necessary sleep, yet also find half opened boxes of cinnamon buns in the kitchen the morning after I've sampled your charms. Do you think I might not only be sleep eating but also walking to the kitchen in my sleep? I not only have no memory of of consuming half a box of buns during the middle of the night, but don't remember putting the buns directly by the bed. Could it be my dog? My husband? Sincerely, Confused While Carbo-Loading. P.S. Hurry please and answer, as I feel distinctly nervous about the status of my extra large box of Cheerios.

5. Pet Peeve Monitor Ping #5,067: I absolutely cannot stand people in line behind me at the deli attempting to shove their one item purchase in front of my sale. Relax, dude - the unlimited attentions of the cashier will be with you after I've finished transacting my business. Should the purchase of your candy bar constitute an emergency, I'll be the first to tell you. Until then, wait your effing turn.